A Simple Gold Crucifix
by GoodisRelative
Summary: SPOILERS: Twilight. Written for NCIS FanFicAthon. She wore the simple gold crucifix around her neck.


Title: A Simple Gold Crucifix

Author: JennUkes

Spoilers: Twilight

WARNING: Character DEATH.

Rating: K+

Summary: Everything was still Abby, but her appearance, even her attitude, was muted now.

A/N: This is for the NCIS Ficathon that Blueraccoon set up. My lyrics quote was from the song El Tango De Roxanne in the movie Moulin Rouge: "You're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me. And please believe me when I say I love you."

I tried for 1000 words but only made 957. Sorry! Thanks to Kate98 for betaing.

Tony stopped just inside her lab. Abby didn't seem to hear him enter so he watched her work, trying to define to himself the difference he sensed in the lab.

It wasn't quiet. Abby's lab rarely - if ever - was. Between the machines, her music, and her normal boisterousness, quiet was something he never associated with her. But things were different in many small, subtle ways. Her normal outrageous dress, even her music, was almost softer. She was still dressed in black, her make-up was her usual Goth style, but they were . . . muted, he decided was the right word. Everything was still Abby, but her appearance, even her attitude, was muted now. As if part of her own spark had died with Kate. Kate's death had killed something inside each of them. He wondered if the changes were permanent or simply in deference to the day.

The song currently playing was another example of the change - it wasn't her normal head-bashing mix. The volume was loud, as usual, but the music itself was different - not as harsh, not as heavy, not quite Abby. He was at a loss as to explain it any better than that. He caught the soft lyrics then.

_You're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me._

_And please believe me when I say I love you_

"It's a tribute to her," Abby spoke without turning to face him. She had known he was there and simply let him think his way through what he needed to. She added, "She is free to leave and I did love her . . . we all did."

He smiled then - a small one - but his first in the days since Kate had died. The words and music were a perfect, Abby-style tribute to their fallen friend. The two women were polar opposites in many ways, but they had been close friends. It was unconventional, but totally Abby.

"She loved this movie and the words fit," Abby went on - as if feeling the need to defend her choice.

"The lyrics are a perfect fit, Abs," he assured her.

This morning's funeral mass had been a perfect fit, too. It had been given by a man in tears. A man Kate had once flirted with before she had known he was a priest, and then had gone back to as a friend - once they had cleared him in the case that they had been working on. The fact that she was really and truly gone had finally set in - for Tony at least. Even though her blood and brains had been splattered on his face that day, he had wanted, willed even, her to walk into NCIS, saying it was all a mistake. The truth was that they had lowered her casket slowly into the ground that morning as a soft rain fell and the mournful sound of bagpipes filled the air.

Tony brought himself back to the cold reality of which Kate was no longer a human part. "Boss sent me down for the results." They would catch the bastard that had killed Kate even if it killed each of them.

"He is going to kill himself before we find Ari," Abby stated. "Tell him I will call him when I have anything. Sending someone down or calling me every five minutes will not speed up the tests." She didn't snap, as she was prone to do when Gibbs got too impatient for results. Everyone was treading on a fine line around him. He was a man fanatically obsessed, more so than the first time Ari had made his presence know to them. But she needed to stop the interruptions or the test results would be meaningless.

Tony nodded and then left the lab and his thoughts behind. He couldn't let his memories swamp him; he had a vow to fulfill first.

Abby sighed and repeated the song again, remembering this morning's funeral. She hadn't been surprised at the number of people who had attended the funeral. Kate had a lot of friends, coworkers and family. The President had sent his condolences. The Secret Service, NCIS and the FBI had all been in attendance. She wasn't surprised, either, that Gibbs had kept his distance from everyone.

She knew Gibbs felt that it was his fault that Kate was dead. He felt he had failed her - that he should be the one they had buried today and never her. Abby knew Gibbs too well not to see it all in his ice blue eyes. He stayed apart even from his team and vowed to hunt down and kill the man responsible. Abby was as sure of that as she was as sure he would be down in her lab demanding results soon. She was just as sure that she'd be staying late to finish all she could and to ensure that Gibbs didn't work himself to death. Kate would never have wanted that.

She would never admit to anyone that she couldn't go home, not tonight anyway. The memories would haunt her, killing her if she let them, and going home would make the battle too hard for her to win. She'd work herself into exhaustion and stay here tonight. Maybe tomorrow she could face the fact that Kate would never again walk through her apartment door.

She knew Tony had missed the most important change in her - they all had. It was the new piece of jewelry she wore. She wore it not for what it represented - she didn't believe in God - but rather, because of who gave it to her. Kate had given it to her the day she had died to help Abby overcome her nightmare about Tony. Around her neck now hung a simple gold crucifix.


End file.
